a memoir, Bound Feet and Western Dress....

i finally finished reading this book i picked up at a thrift store.  i read slowly at the end of each day (after i write in my blog) in bed just before falling asleep.  so it takes me a long time and often i can barely read  a few paragraphs before i wake up to morning and  the book resting on my chest.

but i finally got through this book, which i would recommend to anyone who has an interest in China between 1920- 1948.  it is the story or memoir of the wife of poet Hsu Chih-mo (there are two dots above the "u", which i don't know how to do with my laptop),   Chang Yu-i, as she tells a story through her grand niece, a second generation american chinese, the struggles of becoming an independent minded woman in a very rapidly changing chinese culture.  Yu-i and Hsu were also known to be the first couple to divorce..........

divorce, though interesting, was not the highlight of her life.  

merely telling of her story now through her grandniece of the turbulent changing times she wake-rode into her town in china, was the real highlight.  at last she could "say" (not being able to speak her true feelings her whole life) what really happened.

her, grandniece in reporting the story questions her own role as a young marrying aged chinese woman, even a modern, harvard student, american chinese in new york.

*****************************

i am now pondering a new book to read - maybe "darkmans" by english author, nicola barker - i think it might a bit difficult to get through at my read-speed as it is 838 pages and has a troubling reputation of  being a "nimble word-play" of a book.   

everything takes place in ashford, kent, england.  all 838 pages.

 - luckily i have been there (in person) at least.  

we shall see.  

xmas questionaire....

a friend of mine sent me a xmas questionaire - the kind you get all the time only for xmas - probably most people fill this out during boring work hours. i thought i would share this with you. please feel free to respond:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? lots of scotch tape and a little wrapping paper - is usually the way it works.
actually when it gets closer to xmas, there is a lot of scotch. period.

2. Real tree or Artificial? i alternate, whichever is easiest. since i am forgetful, i usually end up with several trees.

3. When do you put up the tree? anytime from first week of december to december 16 - my birthday.
if i am using a real tree i leave it until dec. 16
because in CA we worry about the dry out factor, if i use the artificial tree,
i usually wait too as it is a big pain in the ass to get it out of storage.

4. When do you take the tree down? new year's day. period. - i must be the grinch

5. Do you like eggnog?  i'm afraid i do - especially liquored up

6. Favorite gift received as a child? a new bicycle. after that, xmas has been a let down.

7. Hardest person to buy for?  my son - he doesn't want for much.

8. Easiest person to buy for? my daughter brooke - she always lets me know early.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? nah.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? mail only.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? a palm device - i still don't know how to use it. now my phone does everything.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? its "a wonderful life" with jimmy stewart,
also if i am in a mood to annoy my kids, i make them watch "merry xmas charlie brown"

13. When do you start shopping? the last two weeks before xmas - i have tried to shop early,
all that happens is that i forget what i bought, forget where i have hid them
and then buy double. i never save money by shopping
the day after xmas for the following year.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? no.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? rack of lamb, every year.

16. Lights on the tree? yep. especially if he tree comes with the lights attached.

17. Favorite Christmas song? the xmas album by nat king cole or the bing crosby one.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? usually stay at home - but if anyone wants to invite us......

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? rudolph, dancer, prancer, dixon, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen - --god, these are weird names -
i should have thought of these when i was considering names for the kids!
let's see, brooke would have been blitzen (nothing to do with old drinking habit), jamie would be comet (nothing to do with being a bit dreamy)
and rosie, definitely, prancer (nothing to do with the way she walks).

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? usually an angel, but depending on the size of the tree a smaller star works too. the important thing
is i can get something atop the tree without knocking the damn thing down.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?  one on xmas eve for the kids when they were little - then stockings are found at
the foot of the bed in the morning, then everything else christmas morning after we wake up and have the video running.
(i have never looked back on those old xmas videos, hmmmm.)

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? commercials, spending money in a forced way, crowds --- god i am the grinch.

23. Favorite ornament, theme or color? i have many favorite ornaments - which makes decorating the tree a huge chore, my first born, brooke's
baby's first xmas is so tarnished now which makes me think, wow i have been doing xmases a lot of years... my favorites are ones
that the kids have made in school
or the baby's first xmas ones of all three kids...

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? do you mean people? i love having family over - no one else. my favorite people to have at xmas dinner are now dead.  my mom and dad. 

especially my dad as he was here long enough to enjoy his third grandchild, rosie.

26. Most fun person to cook for? guests...... here, the family lets me down a little or doesn't feel the need to say wow that was great.

27. Most favorite person to cook with? Gastone, my husband.

28. What do you want for Christmas this year? "An end to war, everywhere." this is what renee said and i agree.

29. Who is most likely to respond to this? no one actually.  (unless bored at work)

30. Who is least likely to respond to this? everyone.
so i thought i would post mine so that anyone can respond if they feel up to it!

counter

Freelance Writer

happy thanks-pigging

(photo of herded chicks)


i decided to go to the gym today before i went on to my friends' renee richetts and mary jo hart's for thanksgiving dinner.
they had a small crowd which was fun and lively and, well, full of really really good eats! perfect turkey, homemade cranberry sauce, real stuffing, potatoes, gravy, greens, pies and pies and pies......

at the gym, i figured it was going to be crowded before lunch time on thanksgiving. it wasn't too bad, but many of the people there looked as though they might need the hospital which is very conveniently positioned next door.
the gym was only opened until 1:30 today (yeah, that's 24 hour fitness)!! at about 12:30 the staff obnoxiously started a repeating announcement that the gym will be closed at 1:30 p.m.. and the staff started circulating the gym telling people in person that the gym was closing soon. as i emerged from the swim locker room, and clearly about to the leave gym, a little round staff member shouted good-bye to me (i wasn't even close to the door yet) and wished me to have (what i thought she said was) "happy thanks-pigging".
i thought that was rude.
i gave her the squeeze-eye. i wasn't sure i heard her correctly. did she said that or did she simply say "happy thanksgiving"? i am a bit neurotic about my weight, especially at the gym.
she just smiled while i was still giving the "eye".
hmmmm.
i said finally, "thank. you. and. same. to. you." fake smile, squeezed-eyes.
she cheerfully said "thanks" back to me and continued on her way to rush others out the door.

i wondered........
was she happy to have said happy thanks-pigging or just happy to see me leave? OR simply happy it is thanksgiving?
life at the gym can be complex.

still i didn't like being rounded up and rushed out of the gym like that.
i hate being rounded up and herded. period.
i suspect my dislike of being rounded up and herded comes from a deep ancestral fear gene - the german jew gene. fearing, i could get herded naked into a gym shower................damn that hitler.

i know, this must be a carry over of neurotic-ness i have from watching that show last night on PBS (see previous post). the show about how hitler robbed countries of art.........
anyway.
happy thanks-pigging!
hmmmm, i wonder.

late night with PBS......

just finished watching this enlightening documentary called "the rape of europa", named after a famous 1686 painting by giordano....
it is a strange but true story of how the greedy and maniacal mind of hitler and his friends worked. how hitler decided to purge countries like poland of not only "subclass humans" but also attempted to erase them from history by systematically destroying heritage monuments and art!

imagine that.
i can comprehend (although despise the idea) the early catholics attempt at world domination by killing people then creating their own type of ideal parish by building monumental churches that both scare and awe townsfolk into belief. although horrible, this reasoning at least makes sense.

but who but hitler was not content with wiping out populations by killing?
but felt that the "sub human" race needed to be destroyed through destruction of her art too.


this emphases to me just how very important art is to culture and culture is her people; the definition of who they, (the people) are, is
so important that removing heritage and art is an unthinkable crime to humanity - a deed only someone as evil as hitler could fathom.
as has been said before, art is not only who you are, but what you are as a people. without art, the history and culture of a people can be anihilated , unrecoverable and undefined.
sorry for getting so political and dramatic on you--this KPBS show has me wound up.

stay tuned......

it's gonna be "a really big shoooo..." ed sullivan


The third episode of N Art Magazine is a cornucopia of visual and conversational delights. We've taken the ordinary elements of the holiday table and found artists whose work reflects them. Join us as we visit with acclaimed sculptor Boban, who creates dynamic figures out of silver spoons, ceramic artist Jake Allee, mixed media artist (and guest co-host) Simon Loli, glass artists from the Escondido Municipal Gallery, Art as Authority blogger Kevin Freitas, new Gallery Walk artists and a few surprises. You can enjoy this sumptuous feast with no calories on KGTV, Channel 10, on Sunday, November 30 at 4 p.m. For more information, contact Lisa Bebi at (619) 916-9040.

not the last super-sized supper!

i wish i were awake enough right now to use my trusted sharpie marker to "fix" this painting of leonardo's. yes, i would a doodle of a couple of super-sized big macs with large fries and a gigantic diet coke, plus a few oreo-cookie shakes.
why? because merchandising culture and the arts is where it is at these days.
yep, in italy our beloved home of world respected art and culture has been in dire economic straits for some time now. In italy there have been government budget cuts that makes tending to the upkeep of these important sites nearly impossible. sadly, visitor ticket prices and sale increases only cover about 10% budget for heritage upkeep.
So a new saviour (or should i say, new director of development of state museums and archaeological sites) has been appointed in the last few months.
who?
none other than the man who ran all the italian Macdonalds subsidiaries for the last 12 years.
yep, mario resea knows nothing about the arts or italian's cultural heritage, he admits, but he sure knows about merchandising and mega business and loans.........
italy passed a new law 15 years ago that allowed commercial sales in the hallowed grounds of museums, etc. , but no one has, up until now, taken the new laws for an exercise in stretching. stretching the art loving visitor's wallet.
so, resea believes the world of art will thrive only if italy increases visitor consumption, i.e. merchandising. you might find when you next visit the Vatican that you will also be able to buy a mac-papal burger or a virgin mac-mary cocktail drink, and french friar fries.
even italy, the world's motherlode of art and culture, will fall helplessly into the arms of entreprenurial dictatorship - who will only want to use and exploit her.

art museum plus fireworks, i wanna go!

this brand new museum just opened up on its own island. guess where? did you say Doha, Qatar? then you were right.
the architect designer, I.M. Pei, at age 91!!!! (yay for seniors working!!!) designed more of a sculpture than an actual building. Pei decided to go with a more austere look in Qatar against the flashy, attention-grasping wealthy new development of the seafront corniche. Pei, hung out in the area, read up on the religion went to egypt and tunisia and other places of the middle east, looked at many artifacts and art that was to be housed in it to get a feel for the style of the building he wanted to create. he stated that in the end he decided upon a style which is both earnest and traditional. maybe because of his age, he felt a need to return to the simpler truer forms of the middle east.

interestingly, he had a condition about the design of the building, he wanted it to be on its own island so that it would not get trapped between glaring, modern buildings in the future. and so it is on its own island.

so, good for you, old man, Pei!!!! i heard that yo-yo-ma performed at the opening yesterday.

what i have been doing lately..........

i know i have been a bit busy lately. i have been involved in creating a regional arts TV show called N Art Magazine TV Show.
we have just finished filming the 3rd episode which will air sunday, november 30 at 4 p.m.
N Art Magazine is a show i have founded and am the executive editor. it was my idea to have a TV show and published magazine (coming soon) that explores the arts in our region and beyond. since i am an artist, i have felt what many of my fellow artists have felt, basically under recognized nationally and internationally. i wanted our regional arts scene to be showcased and respected so that we, as artists, might feel that we don't necessarily need to go to another city like NY or LA to "make it". also, it is my intention to feature the emerging artist scene and the various genres of art in order to to educate and cultivate the attention of the general public. one thing that i am particularly proud of is the fact that on our show we examine the nationally raked artist along side the equally fascinating emerging artist. i hope to expand the mind of the public.

check out this clip that i just discovered tonight on someone's youtube of our last show. this clip focuses on the mind expanding stuff going on at UCSD's Digital Arts of CALIT2/CRCA Center for Research in Computing and the Arts----and beyond. looks like someone their department youtubed us with a clip. check it out and enjoy.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMMiJw0aAuU



here is what they said: (there is a correction here, it was aired on ABC, not NBC)

http://life.calit2.net/archives/2008/11/digital-arts-of-calit2crca-fea.php

Calit2Life
Digital Arts of Calit2/CRCA featured on NBC (oops, ABC)
by Michael Toillion
N Art Magazine, a new program on NBC (error, ABC) in San Diego that documents the local arts scene, visited CALIT2 and the Center for Research in Computing and the Arts recently. For a program that is mostly familiar with traditional art forms, touring the digital art laboratories at CALIT2 and CRCA proved to be quite an experience for N Art Magazine. The final video (seen below) aired on Sunday, October 26th.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMMiJw0aAuU


The video features Beatbox360, a 4K video art piece created by myself, Mike Toillion; Sanctuary, a percussion composition by Pulitzer prize-winning composer Roger Reynolds; and Scalable City, a 3D multimedia video game.

rosie angel

i am posting this painting because my dear friend kathy olsen told me that i have been boring her with the same old paintings over and over again on my blog. i agree, but it takes time to create then photograph then post.
but this is different.
this is a painting i did of my daughter from a photo taken of her when she was about 6 years old. i entered this piece into a photo art show and was awarded honorable mention, even though it is a painting and not a photo. my art friend renee richetts laughs about this and tells it as her favorite "lisa bebi" story......she recites that she was over one day creating an art piece or two at my house day while the deadline for the photo show loomed ahead (the deadline was the next day). she created until she overwhelmed herself and had to take a 30 minute nap on my sofa. while she was alseep i created "rosie angel", from start to finish!!! she laughed as she says her works (which she finished later in her own studio) didn't get accepted into the photo show, while mine as i said, not only got accepted but took honorable mention! don't ask me...

we actually did a collobrative piece that day which we will be submitting to Stampington pblications soon.

Rosie is still an angel - most of the time.
actually, i am very proud of her right now.
rosie and i ran into her english teacher at the mall today. her teacher excitedly said that rosie got the top grade on her latest big assignment - a report. her teacher said she didn't want to tell us right then what her grade was, because she didn't want to spoil it, but couldn't wait to give it to her tomorrow in class. she also said she was not the only teacher who read the report and graded it.
we shall see.
i told her teacher (ms. meridith) that we parents were very proud of rosie and her work in school...because well, frankly we just got back from taking 3 weeks off when we went to italy. (the school didn't like that, if figured mrs. meredith didn't like it either.)
she said we ought to be (proud of rosie).
i write this because it feels so good, because although my other two children are very brilliant people and did well in school,............well, i would get these kind of remarks...."er, your daughter is very bright, but she decided to stand on her hands all day in school" (brooke) OR a phone call "please come get your daughter she has come to school without shoes"....."again". OR, "your son is very bright, but he writes his essays on the wrong side of the paper, you know, he starts his report on the binder holes on the right side of the paper instead of the left." OR, he would write upside down and have little cat drawings all over it. cat drawings with little bubbled conversations all over the sides of the paper.
i miss my older children being in school.
and i love my kids. i love their imagination.

as my friend and fellow painter says.... "Most parts of the world have been through a relatively prolonged period of happy times. With loose money lying around, as there has been, irrational exuberance has prevailed and even sub-prime art has passed both critical and commercial muster.

Now with bank credit drying up, home values heading south and the stock market tanking, the decorative art market will suffer along with the general economy. On the other hand, it's been my experience that in times of recession, collector and investment art can continue to thrive.

Just as unpleasant regulations had to be brought into economies rife with greed and profligacy, artists, who have no creditable regulating body, must bring in more self-regulation. This may involve longer hours, better work habits, better processes and more attention to quality. This also ties in to fair dealing and realistic but progressive pricing to go with the better art. My guess is that many borderline galleries will go under during the next while--just as many inadequate or unprepared artists will look once more to other employment.

Many years ago I had a solo show on the evening after a significant stock market crash. Fearing the worst, I showed up late only to find that the show had sold out. Fact is, when times are good people throw money at art, but when times are bad they turn to art as a possible life-enhancing investment. Funnily, it was a bunch of stock brokers who took home most of the art from that show. Funnily, I thought, people must need art more than other stuff.

Recessions are blessings. Historically, recessions and depressions have been times when "important" work gets made. Realistically, our financial outlay for equipment and art materials (unless your medium is gold) is relatively minor. In hard times artists need to get themselves as debt free as possible and invest in the joy of their vision.

Best regards,

Robert

PS: "Money is always there but the pockets change; it is not in the same pockets after a change." (Gertrude Stein) "Live like a poor man with lots of money." (Pablo Picasso)

Esoterica: Do not let yourself be blindsided by xenophobic myopia. Artists may act locally but are of the world and need to be on the world's stage. Further, attitudes about art and collecting vary from country to country and even from city to city and town to town within countries. The operative word is "change." Both adversity and good times invite change. In our case it has to come from within. Q: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a tire?" A: "Only one, but the tire really has to want to change."

our cat is a slut!

our cat, Princess FIfi, was neutered a very long time ago, when she was just a 6 month old kitten, fresh from the humane society....now, 5 years later, she is still entertaining the opposite sex! tonight she was pawing and pawing to go outside. she has taken up the habit of doing her potty outside (which is good) so i let her out thinking it was this kind of emergency.

then we went out. rosie to the Helix high school football game to watch the last game of the season as the Helix Highlanders win victoriously over Monte Vista high school and the entire league. again. all three of my kids have gone to helix.
Helix high school is the high school of my son's colleague, friend and girlfriend rival Alex Smith (Alex's dad is still the helix high school principal), then a few years later the high school produced another NFL star, Reggie Bush. so of course our school is still an undefeated phenomenon. so rosie went to watch, but my husband was suspicious, why would she suddenly show interest in football, god only knows he tried to interest her in it for a decade of saturday and monday night TV events from our sofa all to no avail.
i explained that she was going to enjoy it as a social activity. he wasn't against that but found the notion baffling. why wouldn't she like to go to simply watch the game?
oh my poor husband. just doesn't understand women.

anyway, gastone and i went to Johnny B's for a burger and brew.
when we came home we found out the truth about our cat. she was on our DOORSTEP with her orange stripped male catfriend doing a dirty deed (or trying to). CAUGHT!! and they seemed to know it was wrong too.
so embarrassed at getting caught, the male split so fast he created a huge clamoring, crashing noise trying to jump our fence that had a bit of aluminum siding leaning against it. i think he missed the jump and hit it headlong.
HONESTLY. so embarrassing and unsightly.
our cat, the hussy, nonchalantly walked into the house. i guess she thought we would not notice her toad of a boyfriend making an utter fool of himself outdoors.
casually, taking her time, she steps into he house strutting as though wearing high heels.

when i came inside, i had a number of emails to answer before it was time to pick up rosie. as i left the house i looked back from the door and saw, my husband sitting on the floor watching the TV with dempsey nearby. but who was between the two of them, sitting pretty and purring, eyes shut with satisfaction? that's right, that slut princess fifi

bound feet and western dress

so i have started to read this memoir that compares an American Chinese and her great aunt's upbringing in china- its very interesting. one thing i learned, which has come too late for me as my children are grown, but children were not only "seen and not heard" they just weren't seen either. they were not allowed to speak to their parents unless spoken to, not allowed to lift their eyes and look in the face of their parents.
why? because they were taught to be very grateful and honorable toward their parents for selecting to bear them in the first place. this is the first lesson of "filial piety": that your life and body are gifts to you from your parents.
they did take this notion to the extreme however, the filial children were to sacrifice themselves for the parent's comfort, for example, lie down on a cold bed in wintertime to warm it for the parents, and in the summertime, accept all mosquito bites to feast on them to their fill, so that the parent would not be attacked and superstitiously stand out in a bamboo plantation in the dead of winter and weep so that their tears would become the soft rain of spring and bamboo wold grow, so that their parent could have the leaves in their soup.

well, i don't need bamboo soup in winter, or my bed warmed and we have screen s to keep out mosquitoes, thank god. BUT i just wished my kids would learn not to talk back ad appreciate us parents (or just life) a tiny bit more instead of chronically engaging in finding fault with the universe.

waiting for attention.....

work, work work and wait wait wait for the seeds of fundraising to grow up and bloom. i never in my life envisioned that i would be in charge of sales or fund raising. but looks as though this is my role at least part time to get my baby some life - my baby being the idea to have the local art scene brought to TV. Im not alone on this project there are 4 others, but it is MY baby, my idea and my conception and I am very proud of that.

i have no PR firm working for me, all i have is a hope that someone will send me (via email, phone calls or other) some interesting stuff for me to create into content and editorial.
if you feel you can help, please do.
don't be shy.
we will be filming until nov. 19, then all goes to editing ad close captioning so that you can view it on sunday, nov. 30 channel 10 at 4 p.m.

still going through possible books to read at night. i have "the torilla curtain", by T.C. Boyle, "Bound Feet and Western Dress", by pang-mei natasha chang ( a book i picked up from the thrift store), "Darkmans", by Nicola Barker and "And the Word Was", by Bruce Bauman.
if you have read any of these books or have a comment to make, please let me know.
i have a feeling i will start with "Bound Feet and Western Dress" tonight.

actually, i will be asleep before i get too far in any one book, i have been swimming again.

counter

Freelance Writer

TV show

turns out it is not that easy putting on a TV show. what? do you think i'm kidding?
i have been working very hard the last couple of weeks trying to put together a large sponsorship package. Putting together this package, which i had to make up from thin air, is work. i have created the packages so that we can sell "air time" --- so that we can continue showing off the art work of this region.


it took me a week to write up the sponsorship packages - equaling 10 pages. but who will read these ten pages of sponsorship opportunity. looks like i can't even get my fellow owners to read it. i tried to spice up the reading by adding a few graphics here and there. still, 10 pages is 10 pages. i will need to sum it up to a one page "cheat sheet" of pricing.


I have also been scheduling artists for interviews, gathering ideas and materials, calling for more funding, gone to filming of events, helping direct so that the show is more visually appealing, plus meetings, meetings and more meetings. it has been fun, don't get me wrong, but tonight i am tired. and very cranky. plus i don't have a new book to read at night yet.

it's fun, but all this time there has been a certain sadness in my heart - as exciting as it all seems - a sadness that runs deep. And i know what that sadness is....i know this depression better than any other because i have carried all my life.......it is this: i have not been able to paint. and i hate that.

so i am hoping to get caught up with all my ground work for N Art Magazine so that i can get back to what keeps me mentally stable ( more or less) - creating/painting. (and exercising -- swimming)
even my husband agrees that i have been away from the canvases too long. (painting canvases not the boxing ring canvases).


oh, and by the way, don't ever fill out those spam emails that really look like they are from wells fargo (or other bank) - it can create a problem with your accounts (see previous post)...my husband, in his defense, was still jet-lagged when he fell for that nigerian prank.

fraud....

this painting is entitled

"art school"

today wells fargo shut down our accounts because of unusual activity. turns out that 3 different people tried to withdraw money on our business accounts today. 2 for 980.00 each and one for $1500. what is up with that? luckily wells fargo blocked our accounts and did not pay off on these. but, unfortunately wells fargo blocked our accounts so that we can't access our monies over the weekend. heartily suggesting that we open up new accounts tomorrow. what a hassle. of course we are so glad they blocked the accounts.
who does this? who gets our bank account info and steals from our accounts. these were our business accounts and my husband's attorney/client account monitored by the state bar. the bank said it was probably due to "phishing" but we have spend a lot of money on such things as mcaffe and, whats the other security screening software called? anyway, the point is, we try.

why all on one day? strange they were different names in different parts of town.

i like that wells fargo protected us, but they did that while we were in italy too. it was us trying to get access to our money and then they blocked it. we didn't know why, we figured that the various ATM's wouldn't accept our cards. that made it hard to get money! fortunately we really didn't need that much more money. it saved me from buying too much in the flea market on tuesdays.

tomorrow i will be with the camera crew filming all day, starting in little italy, filming and interviewing simone loli, photographer, then going on to la jolla to film the boban show and after that on up to oceanside museum for the reception of quilt visions international show.
whew, that sounds like a busy day. i better go to bed while i'm still awake!!!!

adopted family

just an
example
of the type
of photos
i collect.


i love this birthday party. i love the gigantic flames on the candles. i like to think there was a mild mishap after the photo was taken. its the story telling in me.

counter

painting in progress

lately i have been in love with dogs as a subject matter. please meet my most recent painting - a work in progress and process, Mr. Jack Russell.

this is a painting on paper of the jack russell, that i will stick to the underlying painting with matte medium. then i will embellish the rest of the painting as needed.

sometimes i miss my paintings....

this is called "lemon Grove, 1952". it sold a few years ago and i still miss it. it went to a nice young woman who said she lived in a trendy part of town. sometimes i still can't believe that my mom (and brother - in this instance) end up on the walls of strangers. but so it happens....and for me quite often. i only wish my folks were still alive so that they could know how they contribute to my career.

my brother, who is alive and well in woodland hills, is not interested in art at all, even mine, even of him! how could we be so opposite? his house, for instance, is austere, mine is cluttered with stuff/stuff of past lives, my family's and others (others because i collect old pictures of other families; i adopt them).

books. i have tons and tons of books. i wonder why i can't seem to part with them? maybe because if i did, the house would fall down.

it is always disturbing to me when i go into other people's homes and find they don't have a library.....i have lots of friends without books.
why not? i don't know. am i that off beat that i have a library? in my livingroom?
dining room? my bedroom? my studio? er, garage? in the car? bathrooms? the guest room? closets.......oh dear now that i list them, i realize i do have a lot of books. also, there are ones in the storage unit and under my bed.

i better think about getting rid of some, the only thing is, the only ones i can imagine getting rid of are the ones that coincidently belong to my husband. hmmmm.

my dad had a prized library too. no one was allowed to touch it (but i did)(when he wasn't home) and at one time my brother did too, (have a prized library) before he decided to go all "austere" and yoga-y. even my father- in -law in italy has at least two houses full of books.
my grown children have books too, but my oldest one, brooke, has decided to get her books from the library now, so her stash has been stunted. i think she gets some from my house too - when i'm not home.

well, this is a lot to wonder about. but the idea of weeding out my books has given me a headache.
i better go to bed now
and
read......

oh happy day........

well, i was happy and exhausted both by the time i heard obama's acceptance speech tonight. exhausted because, well, this year of campaigning has been tiring for me the american citizen, nerve wracking and emotional.
but i have to say, mccain did a very elegant concession speech - i believed him, sounded to me like it came from his heart. i also think that the mccain concessions speech was the best speech mccain has ever made. perhaps it was because he didn't feel as though he needed pander to the extremists. Extremists like my neighbors across the street. the ones who apparently have zero tolerance for my grandson named gracie, my daughter brooke's pitbull.
but that aside, i couldn't help but notice that sarah palin gave mccain a real cold fish of a "hug" at the end of his speech. it was almost like, "Mccain, you smelly little man, i can't take one second more of being in your presence - please rush me back to alaska".
you know, it was like the end of a very bad date -one that makes you run from the car before it stops rolling as you slam your way into your house without looking back, (er, at least that was my repeated dating experience). what? no, i was the one who ran!!!!!!! insulting.
and her husband, todd, now there is a capital dud.

so, its over, i couldn't help but notice that my neighbors, the rednecks, who earlier in the evening had every light on in their house, including the happy little pumpkin lights on their front porch - and their blaring TV burnt onto one station, FOX news- had by 8:30, packed it in. yep, all lights were off, the curtains closed tight, no more pumpkin lights. election night for them was over. traumatic for them, i know.

they also have a few "yes" on prop 8 signs on their lawn pointed directly at my house. my neighbors next door (the good neighbors who have their own pitbull) have a "no" on 8 - directed back at them. i didn't have signage, damn it.

but i find knowing their particular view on 8 (bad neighbors, pitbull haters) to be especially annoying because they have been known to have proudly declare that they didn't have children because they were too smart to have them - and they are too smart to own pets too. i guess being smart like that makes you an expert on "family values". i hate hypocrites. i had the urge to sneak out in the night with my sharpie marker and draw penises on every family member on their yes on 8 sign! but i didn't because, well because i am too grown up for that!!!! and i have already mouthed that i would do that to my husband - and he advised me not to. (attorney)

but the obama camp did not get by without at least one big bad glaring hitch - and that awful glaring hitch was known as michelle obama's dress. bloody awful. i actually thought she was going to do a quick change stunt, like she had an extra 2 or 3 dresses on under that one. it's a good thing mr. blackwell died before he saw that. but oh well, michelle you are so sweet i forgive you. i just wish i didn't have high definition TV, sometimes. oh, my eyes, my eyes.

this painting is of my son, jamie, the academic. he is blinded folded because he sees with his mind. (i'm being poetic, he is not blind)

he called me from santa barbara today to ask if i voted, so did brooke...i love how they worry about me. i think jamie half way thought i might have had the voting days confused. not yet, young lad, but soon, i will need a bib, diaper, a home and someone to take me to vote...


.

kite runner

i' m just about to finish this book. i love it.
it is not poetic literature, just straight forward writing; a story of a man's life. The story takes the reader from the main character's early childhood in Afghanistan and carries on into his adulthood in California. But his impressions of his Afghanistan as an returning adult -makes him realize that because he was a privileged child, his impressions from his youth are/were far from reality. His memory was rose-colored.

i was reluctant to pick up this book to read because i thought it would be full of political statements and terse history. but instead, i found it is a lovely novel spanning the life of a man, a noble soul, who happened to have lived in Afghanistan.
it has very colorful and wonderful imagery.
i am not done reading it. its one of those books that i look forward to reading at bedtime every night.



tomorrow is finally almost here. i will cast my vote in the rain, i don't care. i look forward to voting for obama. i had my doubts about him in the beginning, but now i am a full fledged supporter. i have not mentioned in my blog who i was to vote for thinking this is no place to invite political debate, but hell, its my blog.
sorry for all you republicans. my dearly departed dad , the newspaperman, was a die-hard republican -he owned, operated and edited his own local weekly newspaper. each voting year, his paper was filled with political campaigning ads. then a week before voting, he would fill out his ballot and print it in his newspaper column explaining why he voted the way he did. he had many followers/fans who would vote like "Max" (him). i know because i would hear them talking about it in the local doughnut shop/bakery , or school teachers, parents - there was a lot of feedback, so many people who told me how they loved my dad and loved his political views.
i'm sorry to you, daddy, i don't share your political views but be proud of your daughter because i, too, have publicly declared my vote. not that i have followers or political fans. but i don't need political fans, the politicians need the following and fans!

I am also voting no on 8. i feel sexuality and /or sexual preference is no place for a government to intercede or regulate...(my opinion does not extend to include sexual crimes, especially against those abusers of youth. Statutory rape and victims of sexual violence need the protection of the law and the government support).

cooler weather....

finally. we couldn't believe how warm italy was and also warm late in the year here in san diego too. but today, it sprinkled a bit. it's cooler.
i like that i don't have to sleep with the fan on my face all night. in fact, i woke up cold this morning. i thought i woke up as a dead body!
i spent some time painting this weekend, trying to get my inventory up. its not easy to get time to paint while also trying to run a network TV show from scratch.

ABCTV stats have come in- our show had between 80,000 to 100,000 viewers during our last two episodes. that's 80,00-100,000 each.
so, if you would like to self promote, you can apply to join us on the show for a mere $150. that's for artists only. we are looking for sponsors too. hint, hint. i have written to big local companies like sempra and edco and albertsons (maybe they aren't local) as well as the SD port, inviting them to be our sponsor /backer/board member - whatever.
if you would like to be known as the area leaders in the art field, just email me. it's that easy.
OK end of sells pitch.
goodnight.
this is a batik i made from bisquick, you can read about it in the currant issue of Somerset Studio magazine.