in the last 6 months my workshop schedule has skyrocketed. (see sidebar, scroll way down). i am not bragging at all. i am just saying that that is where i have been. and i am tired. sometimes i have to remind myself as to where i have been and what i have been doing because i can't remember well enough to account for myself. i worry that maybe i am a bum.
sometimes life becomes such a blur - one moment becomes the next and the next until one day i see that another year or so has passed.
but while i'm living it - in that very moment- it doesn't seem as though i am busy or that its blurry at all. i don't know why. maybe in my old age; i have finally matured enough and learned enough to live in the moment. or more likely its cuz i can't remember sh*t about the past and i am too disorganized to plan my future so i have no choice but to live in the moment!
whoever said you should try to "live in the moment" was wrong. i can tell you. oh sure, it has some good factors. like right now i am enjoying dreaming up stuff to write to you, but in 10 minutes when i hit the hay, i will have forgotten about it. entirely. course then in the morning when i read what i have written, i will be delighted (or horrified) at what i have said. and no i'm not drunk. or stoned. it's old age i tell you.
for entertainment purposes it is great - i laugh at the same joke over and over as if i heard it for the first time. seems crazy especially when i am the one telling the joke!
but the obvious downside is........well, let me illustrate, it goes kinda like this: my husband comes home from work. "did you get the mail today?" (blank look) or "did any mail come today?" (blank look) or "do you know where you put the mail today?" (blank look) or "honey, you live next door, go on home now." (blank look, then suddenly realize he is trying to pull a fast one).
ok, ok its not that bad yet. but i do get a kick out of the same old stories, that's the truth.
makes me good company to my husband who loves to tell the same tired old ones again and again.
i remember that about him.
if you know him, you know what i mean. or i should say, if you walk your dog and run into him you know what i mean. it goes like this: (everyday) "the doberman is a beautiful breed. just look at his elegance. .... (truth: he sleeps all day)..... when he runs his muscles ripple..... (you mean if he runs)..... he is a great guard dog.... (delusional, actually he is a big sissy and hides behind the cat). he is a great comfort".... (again, he sleeps all day and all night). he has been saying these things since our dog was a pup........our dog is 8 years old now.
our poor teenage daughter (we were in our 40's when we had her) - you have never seen such eye rolling in your life! i'm surprised her eyes aren't permanent pinwheels and stuck on the lawn to scare off crows. and her heavy, heavy sighs of pure drudgery to be with us. oh dear, poor, poor baby.
the other day she couldn't remember where she put something. then she gasped and slapped her forehead - she said OHMYGOD, (actually it was: OHMY GAAAAAWWWWD) i am becoming YOUUUU. ("youuu" sounded like ewwww).
i got to admit, that scared me for her. i hope she isn't getting forgetful. not at this age - she has her whole life ahead of her to become like me.
so why did i post a painting of a lonely old woman fishing in her boat? because i did this piece for linda weber in chicago - it is from her photo cache. i liked it.
the reason i have it up tonight is because..................ummm, .........oh dear......i don't know why but there was a reason........