it's christmas eve and i decided to go last minute christmas shopping. i noticed some interesting things while out and about and i will share my revelations to you here:
1. men shopping christmas eve are impatient in line.....come on, dudes, its crowded cuz you are all here!
2. men shopping last minute xmas don't talk on cell phones much - they seem to be unable to do both. and this frustrates them. i know they shop and talk at the grocery store because i have heard them asking the wife/girlfriend from aisle 4 what type of toothpaste/toilet paper/% fat milk/cans of beans/ice cream/frozen foods to buy. so xmas eve- there's the rub - they can't call and ask, can they.----although i bet some do anyway. (those ones are known as mammalukes and itch from a night in the doghouse).
3. men are not well equipped to handle parking lots on a crowded day. i saw the worse case of non moveable traffic at my local bevmo! from noon on. they were trying to come in the parking lot and go out too - ramheaded. the streets were backed up and honking and cussing.... (oops that was me).
4. men have no clue what information they need to have before going out to shop - honestly, i heard a panicked man (age about 50) ask a shoes saleswoman what size shoe (she thought) his wife wore - he helped her guess by telling her he "thought" his wife was about 5' 12" (kid you not) - he said "what do you think? think she is about a size.....".(thinking and looking at ceiling...) "... 13 ...?" the sale lady said she really couldn't tell, but shoe sizes did not range that high in her department.
5. men don't stop for starbucks or blended juices.
6. men will still go to the sports section in the bookstore on xmas eve, even though i'm pretty sure their wives are not that interested in boxing or football. they also find time to breeze through a few magazines.
7. men really do panic-freeze on xmas eve. i saw a man stand in the middle of the shoe department stunned that the type of shoe he was told to buy was sold out - immoveable (like in list #3) for 1/2 hour, slacked jawed starring at the empty shoe rack. and later when he found the same department store sold out of the type of fragrance he had memorized the name of-- he yelled, "I CAN"T BELIEVE THIS!"
8. "I'm sorry sir, we are closed" and "yes, sir, sorry we closed at 5" will cause the same result as #7. only to be followed by a mad dash to the car and screechy tires and trailing obscenities out the lot.
9. men don't buy stocking stuffers.
10. or ornaments. that's why the hallmark store was close to empty. but still, i saw a couple different men buy, 1 scotch tape and 1 roll of gift wrap. i bet dollars to donuts, those men will be in need of scissors soon.