Thursday, August 11, 2011

the woman v. storage unit saga continues....

the above picture is of an art supply garage sale i had a few years back.  most of this stuff sold.  now image that stuff times 200 and you will be close to the quanities i have in my storage unit.
so, i admit, i'm a bit of a hoarder...maybe even an overachiever.

 see those salt and pepper shakers over there on the right..?  well, my intention 8 years ago was to create excellently cool enclosed environments for my 1950's painted paper people.  i would send them to a publisher and write about them.  they would not be used as salt and pepper shakers at all; they would be three d marvels.  how clever to imagine this idea.  except, #1 i never got around to it and #2 ah,  it's been done.  my idea had a shelf life.  maybe not with s & p shakers and 1950 paper people but with mason jars & cute little victorian angel people or similar.
no one bought them.  i now have replacement shakers in my kitchen, should any break or go missing.
now i'm going to tattle on my storage unit's tactics of yesterday.  i'm going to warn you that this is exhausting to read.

hereinafter the storage unit will be referred to as "su":

1.  around 10 a.m. i got a phone call from said "su"'s manager to please come fast and bring my key.
 i squeezed my eyes together - what is this ploy?
2.  i ignored the phone call (nice try, su)
score: woman is now one up.
3.  su's manager called again and sounded rather upset..... she mentioned something about an electrician and my unit.
hmmmm, that's a curious detail...
4.  i travel the 5 blocks to see su's manager and said electrician;
5.  su's manager introduces me to a respectable looking fellow who claims to be an electrician.....
i'm not sure i'm buyng it...
6.  ok so, turns out he was an electrician.  score: su up one on woman.  damn.
7.  the 3 of us open su;
8.  su's manager was asked to stay around as electrician steps in su with a ladder.
everything seems OK to me,
9.  he has su's manager close and lock the door (so he can place his ladder there i think)
now i know for sure he was a real electrician because he was wearing a headband flashlight.

10.  comes out asks for electrical tape,
what is this?  surgery?
now you have to imagine my su is only about 3 years old - very nice, very modern, no corners cut with in it's creation
11.  i looked around no other su was requiring help.  i even asked.
12.  su's manager comfirms, no other su was involved (my eyes squeezed again)  very fishy
13.   10 minutes later, after lot on internal noise of having electrical tape surgery...the electrician emerges scratching his head (near his headbandflashlight).
14.  he doesn't know exactly what is wrong....oh, really
15. su's manager insists that there is a correspondence between su and the elevator, each time the elevator moves, su manager says,  it sends out an annoying alarm into the office.
i slap my brow and slowly let air pass through my frown-y lips.  (su is now manipulating both the elevator and her manager.)  it occurs to me that she is winning.

how could she pull this trick, is everyone stupid?
i didn't hear an alarm and the elevator is 4 hall turns away from her.    the electrician, who now suspiciously looks like he could be a relative of su's manager, admitted he could find nothing amiss but decided to double tape su any way.
i had to slap my forehead and leave my hand there.  this time i sucked air deep into my lungs.
here is su's hidden agenda:  she wants to be moved into our bigger storage unit (down the hall) so that i can forget about my art stuff and i will be completely confused.  forever.
well, more completely confused.
so, just to make sure....
16.   i asked about the neighboring units were they in danger?  nope, nothing, no problems.  in fact they were all vacated......
OK,  this made me panic....what if there actually had been an electrical fire, nothing would be involved in this huge new 4 story facility, except my boxes of art stuff.  with empty storage units surrounding her all that extra oxygen... su would burn up in 2 seconds.  i felt faint.
very, very clever.  i stood there considering moving su to bigger su down the hall.
the art supply boxes are very big and heavy-this effort would surely tire me out so that i would cave in and never return to bigger su again..was it worth it?  or should i let her possibly blowup.
i went home and worried all night about my art stuff catching fire.
today, after a big healthy breakfast, i decided to go back brave whatcomemay.
this story is not finished.......
maybe i should place s&p shakers in bigger su.
truthfully, i wouldn't mind forgetting them.


geogems said...

I read this from the start...seems if your art ever gets tiring---you may have a career in writing. LOVED IT!! Can't wait to see the resolution...if a sale is involved---let me know---I missed the last one and I NEED some more stuff to put in MY "SU" hugs, geo

Kat Baker said...

I think the answer is another "su" sale. I'll be there.

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