Saturday, February 16, 2008

top ten reasons i suspect dr. hot is not God

you remember dr. hot, don't you? (see previous post regarding dr. hot earlier last year). back then, i went to him to get treated for my tired and aching feet. (back then he gave me a referral to go to a podiatrist - my appointment is monday. finally. gawd kaiser is slow).
anyway, dr. hot is actually my primary care doctor and so i see him about other issues or the combination of all issues. also, i went to see him friday because he had changed my dosage of vicodin to less than 4 pills a day although i haven't yet been operated on for my torn menisucus (see other previous entries regarding my knee, ad nauseam).

also i went to see him about putting the dots together of all my ailments - my reasoning is that there should be a common denominator between them all, like, say, another autoimmune disorder.

so here are the ten reasons i suspect d.r. hot is not God:

1. he was late for work because he couldn't get his car to start;
2. i wanted to know what umbrella condition causes a person to have eye sight problems, joint pain, muscle pain, dehydration, high cholesterol, high BUN, kidney problems and occassional UTC within a 6 months period; i asked, "what disease causes all these things to go bad at once"....he asnwered "bad luck".
3. he asked me how to spell that really weird condition i had, that nearly killed me about 5 years ago.
4. he told me he made a mistake about lowering my dosage of vicodin, because he didn't understand that i was actually having pain;
5. i asked him what to do; i am going to Paris in two weeks and i still have trouble walking. he said, "don't sightsee".
6. i asked him what caused my failing health, what was the trigger to my "bad luck" ailment. he said "you hit the wall".
7. i asked what can i do to help myself. he said " workout, lose weight, get lots of rest, get decent shoes, and don't start jackhammering".
8. i said, but i have been working out and losing weight and i got the recommended shoes and i don't jack hammer. he said, "yeah, actually, none of that stuff will really help you. you are kinda like an old worn out car that when you fix one thing another thing goes.....", what am i to do? "well, you will get your knee looked at and your carpal tunnel worked on and things will at least hurt less, but thats about all there can be done."
10. i complained that i have been taking lovstatin to lower my high cholesterol and it is still high, he said, "yeah, your cholesterol is way out there - it is outrageous, i actually think you are broken in the cholesterol department - its probably a bad gene.
but wait, there are really 11 reasons.......
11. he wears geeky, squeaky shoes.


kitasmom said...

you know, my dog has gotten better medical care than I have this past year! i won't bore you with the details, but let me say this - if you find out the cause of your Umbrella Illness let me know...i have a lot of the same things going on (add a mass of undetermined nature/makeup in my kidney region) and although the various dr's seem CURIOUS, no one has a clue as to what's what. oy vey already! Linda

ted said...

Lose the bum!

Joy Logan said...

This is the reason I stopped working in hospitals. No bedside manners left and besides they don't really care,they do this to make money. My theory was treat everyone as you would want to be treated...or your wife,or daughter or mom,etc.SIGH sorry you found another of the list of bad doctors and comedians.

lisa bebi said...

kitasmom? thank you for dropping by - are you the cool lady i met at the woman's history museum during the art show?
anyway, welcome and thanks for commenting.
i checked out your blog - too funny. did you know my daughter, brooke is on radio? (SC)NPR. she does news reporting.
and ted, i will lose the bum, but who should i get?

and joy- just amen!

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