Tuesday, February 19, 2008

sneakers and snow boots

i'm so sick of myself.....all i have to write about these days are doctor visits - today the podiatrist - after i told him, look, i have been working out, losing weight, i have worn corrective shoes for 6 months and still my feet hurt and i have an tender achillies tendon, he said,
"well, you have the right mind set, but you have to realize you have age working against you..." my smile resembled a person sucking a lemon.
i mentioned my knee, perhaps it is contributing to my feet trouble, maybe it's not just age.
"yeah, maybe, it sure doesn't help. ......so, looks like a lot is wrong with you right now - boy, you're really having bad luck, aren't you..."
i thought i was going to shoot myself. maybe hang myself from the curtain rod using his stethoscope. i hate that frickin' "bad luck" diagnosis.
he continued, "well, there's not a lot to do at this point, except you need to wear these gigantic knee high snowboots (actually he called them something else) to bed every night."
i had to laugh - i am already wearing two hand braces with metal insides to bed every night for carpal tunnel and i am suppose to wear a mouth piece to keep myself from grinding my teeth every night too (but i don't, i hope my dentist doesn't read this)......

man, my sex kitten days are WAY over.
i don't even know how i am going to manage to get into bed tonight. i will have to find a way to catapult my way in. gangway, i'm coming in like a shot cannonball. only instead of a shot, it will be more like a slow roll in. i might need several tries.
i will probably just take several gimpy, tiny, but speedy steps forward and bounce off the side of the bed. i can't jump - my kneeeeee.
maybe i will just sleep on the floor.
i have already hurt myself many times trying to scratch my head in the night with the metal hand braces. not only will i give myself a black eye - i'm sure gastone will have a few bruises by morning too. if he still sleeps with me......

all this "band-aid fix" shit the doctors put me through are making me worse. i will probably have to wear a mummy suit to bed next -except, i don't know why.
it's not helping my moods. and it gives me nothing cool to write about.
i swam tonight - it was cold, but at least i did it - hurting limbs and all.


Joy Logan said...

The aging thing sure sux doesn't it? I avoid docs like the plague.

lisa bebi said...

it does suck

Victoria Estacio Huckins said...

i love your sense of humor about the age thing... i'm still in denial.

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