Thursday, November 8, 2007

blank mind

i have been under the pressure of publishing deadlines for some time now. usually the assignments aren't too taxing, BUT this time i have a couple, maybe, 3 chapters in a book due by next week. right now i have one done. normally ideas pop into my head like popcorn. ideas wake me up in the night....ideas dominate my family complains frequently that while they are talking to me, i get a faraway(or vacant)look in my eyes...i get caught not listening....finally i hear ..."momma, momma, momma, momma...", etc (and thats my 30 year old!).
i do this probably because something they had said skyrocketed my mind into a very wonderful, treasured new world. someplace that is very hard for me to let go of.

they also complain, i drive them crazy when we go places because i take too long looking at things....i know i "see" more than they do or want to see because i see what's there, plus what is not there. and from all of this i get my ideas stoked.

until now. i have some sort of mental idea block. i have tried to undo it by going to the museum, looking at books, magazines, looking at old projects, asking my family to tell me lengthy stories. nothing is working. (i hope my editor isn't reading this).
SO, as a last ditch effort, tomorrow, i plan to go downstairs and paint without thinking. paint nonsense. push completely out of my mind i have things due.
right now, i feel like this painting i did of my mom descending into undeciphered words....her figure is a blank, without details. (called "Ruby's Descent")

tomorrow meredith will come over to work with me - i will not give my deadline any thought. i will "play" and see what happens.

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