sunday's workout

it was gym day today. once a week really isn't cutting it...in fact it is as good as not going at all. i now walk like a two-ton gorilla with painful bunions. i will walk like this for at least 2 more days. AT LEAST!
(sigh). i need to get back in shape; a shape that is not a bowling ball. its hard when only one workout a week puts me in a paralyzed state for days. takes a week to recover. but today lying in bed hoping the pain would go away, i formulated a new plan...........i'm thinking i will push myself through on tuesday to go to the gym again. then on thursday and then on sunday. that way, i might make some progress. the foreseeable trouble is physically moving on tuesday....so, here's where i am brilliant, i think the answer is a numbing drink first. i'm thinking hard whiskey, a few swigs (or so). once i get a few weeks under my belt (get it, belt) i can switch to a mixed cocktail, maybe rum and coke. by the end of the month i can wean myself off that stuff and on to wine, then wean to a light beer, then to Robitussin. finally i will be on my way to being a fit woman with possibly only a few DUIs to worry about. sounds like a plan. i'm proud of myself. my hot doctor wanted me to do the "liquid only" diet through kaiser.....i looked that brochure over and decided i should save some money and devise my own liquid diet. i'm so smart!