a dog's life.........

if you think you have a dog's life, why not get fancy and par-tahy?

actually i have never really understood the "dog's life" problem.  i have a large doberman.  he is a dog.  and a life.  therefore, he has a dog's life.  it's his life, but he is a dog.  

i thought a dog's life is not something you would want to brag about.

but no,  here is the rub.  he has the best life of anyone i know.  certainly the best life of our pack.  he eats everyday at the same time - with food he hardily enjoys.  he doesn't have to worry that if he can't pay for it he will have to do dishes.  or, make out i.o.u.s.  he just gets to enjoy his meals worry-free.

further, all day long, he sleeps if he wants - and apparently he does want to.  he sleeps all night too.  his only duty is to bark once in a while to alarm the rest of the pack if something suspicious is stirring outside.  he does, but not perfectly.  the pack really doesn't care if a wayward skunk is transversing the property at 2 a.m.   even if he thinks it's worth getting hysterical over. 

it's annoying but he doesn't get into trouble over it.

he gets a bath with great smelling stuff, toes nails clipped, hair brushed.  he even sleeps on his own fluffed up dog pillow.  without paying rent.

he has the life of a prince, more like.

he gets to go out every night to socialize with other prince dogs.  and he is able to get personal with whoever he meets, even without introduction.  he doesn't have to shake hands first, he just goes to sniff and decide right then and there if the other dog is worth hanging with.  if not, he moves on.  no apologies.  he doesn't have to worry about being PC.

i often wish i could "go" like a dog.  not lift my leg.  but be able to hold it until a certain time and without any effort at all,  just plop it out.  no grunting.  no frantic searching for a public restroom.  no hopping on one leg and bearing teeth while waiting for a stall.   not even a problem if there's no toilet paper.  

AND, he gets admired for his beauty where ever he goes.  just walking down the road.  and although he is getting pretty old, his age does not show.  no wrinkles only maybe a few white whiskers if you look hard enough.

so, i gotta say, i would like a dog's life -- doesn't have to be a partying dog's life.  just the sleep all day and all night and still be very fit, type of life.  and the "no worry about supporting yourself" type of life.

if i were a dog and woke up cranky, i would be praised for being a dutiful barker.  and since i am a woman - calling me bitch would not hurt me at all.

every night while with the pack, i would be the only one with a dessert after dinner.  albeit a bone, but still.

so i'm going to go to bed now and rethink my life.  would i be better off as a dog?  should i ask to be a dog in my next life?  

hmmm, as i think i am sure my eyes will get heavy and i will drift asleep.  and if a stray cat or squirrel comes by the house....i can just stay asleep and not have to tell anyone.  and yeah, i do like my own bed-sy - - better than a dog pillow......even if i could have a pink one.