(french socialite dog at elegant birthday party near the latin quarter, somewhere)
happy birthday to me. happy birthday to MEEEEEeeeeee. yes it's my birthday. and i would like to celebrate it loudly. i'm breaking out the karaoke machine that i bought my daugther when she was 10. i'm putting on a party hat and blowing a curling whistle. all day long.
i'm gonna tell everyone its my birthday.....even strangers like the butcher in the grocery store, the welcome man at costco, the mailman, the neighbor's gardeners - even the gardeners who belong to the neighbors that i don't like who live across the street. i might ask to borrow their megaphone that they like to use on us at 6 a.m. to tell us our dog is barking. (which is never true). i will use the megaphone to announce my brithday to them from my rooftop. upwind. and tell them they are not invited to my house to celebrate with me. but they are welcome to leave a present on my doorstep. (not an explosive one).
i might go to the post office and tell them too. cuz they should know. this is after i tell all my relatives. and my friends since kindergarden. maybe even old boyfriends or an ex husband. nah. that could be a downer.
i'll celebrate with just everyone, anyone and no one in particular. i will celebrate with the butterflies and songbirds in my garden.
i might bang pots at midnight - set off fireworks. bring in a band. hire the rockettes to come over and entertain the family. create a parade. conduct an orchestra. build a float. build a birthday cake. smoke a cigar and drink scotch, bourbon, and cognac. turn the music up full blast. on the oldies station. and later drunk dial old friends and slur affection their way. i might even call my brother, if he doesn't call me first.
i might dress in elegant, vintage clothes and wear a plume hat. and smoke from a long cigarette holder. while wearing gloves - long white ones, of course. wearing a large diamond ring on the outside. i might fancy wearing a string of long pearls or a diamond choker and perhaps a lovely white feather boa.
i will twirl in a full dress and throw my hat in the air like mary tyler moore. she always looked happy. maybe i should invite her over.
i will dance with my cat. only cuz my dog is a bit grumpy. i will string party lights up in my studio. turquoise ones. and hang a few balloons.
yep i'm gonna enjoy my birthday. and then i will have the nicest, deepest sleep. with wonderful dreams. under my electric blanket. while wearing my favorite flannel PJs.