(photo courtesy of french word -a- day blog). love this photo. love the loyally waiting dog. the worn door (my favorite) color and that color is perfect against that ochre yellow wall. the pic is so fench with so few props.
ok, so for many years i have had trouble knowing from one day to the next how i will feel. what my energy level would be, my focus and just in general my well being.
i just figuered it was old age and being overweight that altered my energy level so much. but now i know, i have just been diagnosed with crohn's disease. although the diagnosis is new, the disease within me is not. it was discovered during my first colonoscopy in 2003, but it was not expressed in the report as such. so no one told me. why? well, because i had a bigger health crisis going on at the time and the treatment for it was the same treatment for crohn's. the report just said to continue current treatment.
in 2003, my kidneys failed abruptly. that was the bigger crisis.
fortunately t i got 1/3 function back thanks to heavy doses of prednisone and 2 years of celcept, the anti organ rejection medicine. the cause: autoimmune disorder. my body turned in on itself and decided to reject my perfectly normal kidneys. since my body rejected its own healthy kidneys it therefore was not an option to get a transplant. my body would reject foreign kidneys even faster. i was doomed. i also had inflammation in my irises, my bladder and my intestines. i was kinda sick.
but the chemo took and here i am today.
then a 7 year remission.
for the last month i have been feeling very ill. my intestines just were not functioning. i looked 10 plus months pregnant and was horribly uncomfortable. after 2 ct scans and another colonoscopy it was diagnosed as crohn's.
crohn's is not a great disease to have but its better than cancer or kidney failure. i am thankful to know WHAT it is i have been suffering with and i am thankful to understand what has been going on with my body for so long. i want to reclaim my day to day life and now i will be able to manage it.
did i tell you i am happy to know what it is i have???? i am because now when i look back i can see it with a sort of "oh no wonder i didn't feel like doing this or that".
one thing i have always hated about myself was that i have a hard time committing to doing things in the future - you know, simply calendaring. its hard to get things done or have a social life that way. but now i know why i hate calendaring its because i have never been able to predict whether or not i would feel well enough to do it at a future date. whatever "it" may be.
so today i am experiencing an awareness that is bitter-sweet. i hope with my new diet and health treatment plan i will be able to begin to calendar things properly and in good consciousness.
i wrote about it here because i know my friends want to know where i have been and what is going on. also maybe it will help someone who has it, know that they are not the only one. it can feel pretty isolating when you are sick.
so, is there anyone out there in cyberland have good crohn's diet recipes?