thank you everyone who wrote me personally and wished me a rapid return to planet earth. i feel better, although a bit shaky.
a couple of things really helped.
1. pinpointing the problem (thank you, rona and brooke, for reminding me about my may blues) may was also the month, 5 years ago, that i suddenly fell ill with total kidney collapse - which was probably due, in part, to the may blues i get regarding my late husband's death date.
2. increasing my dosage of wellbutran, only up to what i ought to have been taking in the first place;
3. visiting my aunt lillian and cousin anita and her husband harold today. that visit was so long overdue, i'm ashamed of myself. they only live in san clemente, afterall. jeesha. but what a great visit. family is good.
4. spending a day, sorting out my feelings instead of wasting time being baffled and foggy about it. and now i'm ready to go on about my business, i think.\when i came home tonight after visiting my cousin, i must have looked happier as
i could see relief on my family's faces;
so, tomorrow, i will spend time getting ready to enter the "beyond the lense" show in escondido. also, i need to finish up my pancake batik story for the magazine and a few other things. friday i will spend the day with meredith - by then all will be back to normal.......