Tuesday, July 31, 2007
this painting is called "seventeen pout", as in a seventeen year old, pouting....
this painting is suppose to represent brooke, during her teen years.
but, brooke actually is very rarely sad. and she has been the same all her life. she gets mad, but never sullen .... when she does get a bit sad, it is very heart breaking to me because she has always been a really good sport.
so, a story about brooke:
i had an excited message on my machine from her thursday. she wanted me to call.
"what's up, sweetie?"
"momma, guess what?" she eagerly asks...(she still calls me momma).
"what? are you getting married? are you going to make me a grandma? something else happen? did your cat learn to read? did Gracie (the dog) make it into the movies?"
"No, momma, none of that", she says, delighted with herself...."i quit my job."
"WHAT?!? WHAT?!?! What?!?! that's it?!! that's the news?!!"
"yeah", she giggles, "isn't it great? i gave my two weeks notice yesterday. carlos says he could tell right away that i was much happier."
"WHAT??!?!?! ARE YOU fricken NUTS??? HAVE YOU TAKEN A LOOPY PILL? YOU HAVE A HIGHLY COVETED JOB at (KNX in LA radio news reporter), pays well........why, oh, why would you quit? (i'm trying to disguise my stress)
"because i was unhappy, momma"
"argh, brooke, so? it was a great job!!!! although, i hate to see you unhappy", i manage to dribble out.
"i don't want to work there, AND i don't have to anymore, because i quit!" she was getting more and more pleased with this news.
"oh, i get it, (as i settle down a little) you have a new job offer somewhere?"
"no" she says flatly.
"No? No? what do you mean...no?"
"just , no, momma. now i can walk the dog 4 hours a day and cook dinner and read books and go to the beach..."
"this is no time for a vacation", i practically spit, but hold back. "soooo... do you have any leads n a new job?"
"no", she sang. giggle. pleased as punch.
"but you have bills to pay"
i'm totally puzzeled because she is a very responsible daughter. she only once in a while does things "rash".
"well, aren't you worried?"
"no, i feel completely relieved"
*sigh*, "well good for you honey"....(be supportive, she must be having a breakdown).
"are you, uhm, OK?"
"never happier - i feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, momma. it feels wonderful not to work. i hated that job."
"well, no one wants to work......but.....".
"but, what? i feel great!"
i hung up and sat down with a heavy thud all in one action.
her next work day they asked her to please reconsider quitting.
and i ask myself, why do i get so worried and upset over the affairs of my grown kids? she knows what she is doing. i can't believe i doubted her. i feel so old.