and the fight begins......

going through my storage unit again today i became even more aware that i was merely circulating piles of stuff into more and new piles... and at the end of the day, i had basically nothing in the trash.  argh.

it went like this until i came across my husband's stockpile.   ha! i thought it won't be hard to throw out his old stuff.  this will help start me ---i will be building a hole in the unit and other "stuff" will follow......  

my husband's stockpile was his life long collection of  has for years  Ring(boxing) magazines.  he just might have every single Ring magazine that's ever been published.  of course i had to thumb through a few -i became i enthralled.  i know what you are thinking - you are thinking that i will do anything to distract myself from clearing out the unit....ha!  ok, caught me.  guilty as charged.

but, it was interesting.

back in the 1930's sports writing was more esoteric and poetic.  there were interesting guest writers; they were more descriptive because they had to be - there was no sports tv coverage to show you how the fight actually went down.  and how it went down is, of course, the more important part,  more important and surely more colorful than the actual end result of the fight.  unless you are gambling on it. or if you were the one who was in charge of fixing the fight.  if so, i'm guessing the end result is all that matters.

in the 1930's as you know, americans were suffering from the great depression.  kinda like now.   radio was the epicenter of families.   very norman rockwell, i imagine.   

so leafing through my husband's old magazines this depression era really resonated with me.  hey, i kinda feel like these folks - the dust bowl,  steinbeck's people- they suffered so much.  ok i am doing better than living in a dusty camp - still, i feel one day soon i won't be able to afford junk food, liquor or art supplies.  

so continues (....a fading picture emerges and thought bubble appears....) my time dribbling away - off to dreaming again.  ... norman rockwell's paintings...euuu-aww. until then, i was perfectly willing to throw out his stuff.  less painful for me that way.

but the longer i looked the more i liked.

when i started painting again in the early 2000's i had no idea of what i wanted to paint - the subject matter was not foremost in my mind.  i only wanted to paint colors.   splash paint around like a kindergartener. 

then it clicked i will paint boxers fighting, but in my own made up colors.  that should keep my husband happy and give me a focus to paint.  i painted several dozen.  i began to really like this exercise because i was beginning to better understand human physiology and dramatic lighting.  my brush strokes started to shorten and become more excited, like i imagined was the atmosphere ringside. colors - lots of them - some blurred as the fights were intense.

so thinking more positive now -i ask,  why would i want to chuck out all this wonderful imagery?  i brought boxes of them home.  my husband was so relieved to see that i had not thrown them out - it took him a lifetime to accumulate this cache.  he thanked me, i just shrugged.  i'm defeated - there is no way i will get this done without a neutral intermeddler.

*sigh*

i painted this painting in 2004, it's of billy cahn and someone else....do you like the green and orange trunks? (not unheard of these days, i know) 

so i ask you.....how does one ever get anything into the trash?  it's all so precious.  am i right?

i'm going to go to bed now and read up a bit on joe louis.  pow! Bam!

its not easy letting go......

 "

i have put myself on art creating probation until i have cleared out my storage unit.  i have given myself one month to do it.  this is very hard since i see everything as potential collage fodder.  today i came across a large wooden crate full of old Post magazines -each neatly placed in its own plastic wrap.  a few years ago i was collecting old magazines.  i also found a big collection of old comic books in their plastic slips too. then i found my old Life and my old Look magazines... so fun to page through.

i found an old collections of "my little ponies" that belonged to my first daughter and a huge selection of beanie babies belonging to my second daughter.  my son had saved his own writings - boxes and boxes.  from before the time he could write he would make up stories in stick figures on paper. and  these are epic.   i don't think there has ever been a day in his life when he hasn't written a story. 

i don't want to give them away -or sell them.  in fact, i want to still hoard them.   not even use them, just have them.  what is wrong with me?  

if i haven't used them by now, will i ever use them?  ugh, after awhile i finally noticed that i was just making piles.  i would go through my stuff and place them in a rated pile.  like, "have to keep", "would like to keep", "maybe i should keep" or "thinking about it".  i really was not getting far.

for several days i have taken everything out of storage, re-boxed and replaced it back into storage about 10 times.  i feel like a hampster on a wheel.  i am a slave to my hoarding habits.  dear mother of god can someone please help me?
so i used this painting of the "backward glance" to show my mood....not really leaving just looking like it.

so many times i have found something that i had totally forgotten about ----and for sometimes past an hour i would be off into memory lane.  not getting anything done at all.
i try to tell myself to not look back-to stay the course and clear out - but, if not for memories, what are we?   (i think i made that up and i am proud of it).
i have been itching to get back to painting - i found about 100 big unused canvases in my storage unit.  ok ok maybe not quite a hundred, maybe 10, er, 6 or something.  uhm,  and maybe some of them were used ...... so i will gesso over the top of them. and start again.
but, ugh, i can't  paint until i finish the storage unit clear out..........my life feels like a large circular wheel,  round and round for eternity.
hey wait, did i just hear my voice echo ?  uh-oh i think i have taken too many things out of here.  i better go look for the ones i have thrown out.  tick. tick. tick.

his best behavior.....

my oldest daughter is spending 2 months in south america - why?  well, she is adventuresome and loves culture.  but she is/was actually doing a documentary covering cupa american soccer and is noting the cultural differences between fans in south america v. say, fans in the states.  if you have facebook you can see some of the reporting on her site brooke binkowski.

anyway, so what does this all have to do with a dog in a party hat wearing a dress carrying a purse?  well nothing directly.  indirectly, however, is another story.  it's there to remind certain members of the family, namely, grandchild to behave.   

my daughter's cement-brick of a pitbull named gracie (who is a boy) and is not too graceful (hence the name) came to stay with us for the remainder of the time brooke is away.  i have him now because before, well, before let's just say it takes a village.  he was looked after by his uncle and other grandma and he tired them out.  so here he is.

i love gracie.  i load him with heaps and heaps of affection because he is my only grandchild.  my own dog, dempsey, watches us from half closed eyes and turns his head away.  disgusted.  he doesn't think much of the rest of the family, i'm afraid.  the rest of the family meaning anyone after my husband.  who feeds him.  (i think that dempsey is kinda stuck-up).

anyway, gracie came to live with us....  within 30 minutes he smelled and terrorized a skunk who apparently lived under our house.  there was a lot of barking going on under there.  we use gas for our washer/dryer/stove, etc. a year ago gracie did something similar while we were away in italy and my daughter watched him at our house along with our pets.  somehow gracie caused a leak in our gas line.   it got repaired, but how scary is that?

so again today he was making similar wrecking ball/steam shovel/demolition sounds under there ignoring my pleading cries to come and to please stop.  it didn't sound good.  it meant trouble.  and it was.  i was wringing my hands with worry.

finally he strolled out wagging his tail and grinning as only pitbulls can do.  an odor was starting to arise.  i ignored it at first thinking it was merely the scared skunk's perfume.  it got more and more retched smelling until i nearly passed out.   i was answering emails when the smell overtook me and forced me  to call san diego gas and electric to report a possible leak.  

within 30 minutes sdg&e shows up.   from the road sdg&e man told me he smelled it.  omygod (hands still wringing) in this hot weather i was sure the house was going to blow.  the man got out his device that detects gas leaks.  within minutes he confirmed what he suspected - under our house was a skunk.   not a gas leak.   tell me something i don't know.  apparently they smell sortof similar.

the smell was traveling through our vents and cracks into our house structure.  and it lingers for frickin' ever.  not what i wanted to hear.

i consulted dr/vet/midwife/mr/soothsayer google.  i got a remedy for the house smell: 

this is what you do:

clear out skunk first

1.  identify where the skunk smell was most intense.  sdg&e man told me that at "ground zero" a point closest to where the skunk actually sprayed, you can't smell it.  so it's hard to find the epicenter so to speak.

2.  coax the skunk out from under your house........with what? cookies? and warm milk?

turns out there is a method - powder the entrance/exit with flour  

3. wait for dusk/darkness

4.  throw a smell bomb or two of  ammonia soaked paper towels into said epicenter (they don't like that smell)

5. later come out with a flash light and see if the skunk left tracks in the flour trap.  if so, close off any entrances/ holes/ open vents so that the skunk can't come back in.  ok this doesn't get rid of the odor, just the unwanted guest.

sounded painless enough. right?

so i did all this but saw no tracks.  hmmm.  i closed off the underhouse anyway.  afterall i didn't want more skunks finding their way to the apparent paradise under our house.  now i am worried we will smell skunk and dead animal soon.  eww.

finally i realized the smell was coming from the dog,  specifically near his mouth.   i can be a slow wit. the remedy for this is not tomato juice.  it's mixing  portions of hydrogen peroxide/baking soda / dish washing detergent/water.  lather up the dog and let it soak on him for 5 to 10 minutes.   wash his face (not eyes), also wash out his mouth.  ugh.

this worked.

meanwhile the house smells.  remedy: use "oust" spray (i didn't have any) or white vinegar and dish detergent to wipe everything down.  you need to rid the house of the smell oil - that's why grease cutting dish liquid is necessary.  wash all clothes that were worn at the height of the odor using the disinfectant selection on your machine.

i also powdered the carpet with a dusting pet smell eliminator. 

but the war was not over.  the smell was still clinging to everything - drapes, carpet, walls, furniture,  sofa cushions.  ugh ugh ugh.  

there was one last thing to do.... leave.   surrender and leave the house, go out to eat.  we just couldn't eat in that skunk house smell.  not without hurling.   we went to lido's our favorite family pizza joint for a bite and a respite and hoped the oust spray/ carpet powder/ wall washing/vacuuming/clothes washing would take effect.  fingers crossed.  maybe we won't hate the  smell so much after dinner.  

it was better but not perfect. 

did you know that city animal control is not in the business of picking up alive untame animals - like wild animals, well,  like skunk?  humphf.

i hope my own skunk trap works next time.  i also hope we don't smell dead animal carcass plus skunk fumes in the near future.  barfbarfbarf.

so, i have this painting of a matronly looking pitbull  in a party hat.  that's for him, that's for gracie to remind him to behave properly.  (i know its confusing to have gracie in a dress - i have been confused about him since met him 5 years ago).

good dogs don't go under people's houses and sniff around for trouble.  good dogs don't bark and corner  frightened animals found under the house.   good dogs don't tromp the smell all over the house either.  good dogs behave nicely.

just thinkin' before i go to sleep...... did you know that italy has skunks too?  how did they get over there?  did they just spontaneously appear in different continents?  

ugh.  i think i will drink that tomato juice myself.  i bet i will feel better.  maybe with a tad of vodka. a celery stick.......

DVD SALE for one week only..........

$25.00, now for one week only (in celebration of my rosie doing well in swimming.  again),

tuesday july 26, 2011 - aug. 2, 2011.  just check the paypal button at the right top sidebar. 

go rosie!!!





(actual project done from dvd  kit)

things to do on a long car ride........

we just got home from a five day event including a long road trip from southern california to central california and back again for the sake of watching our daughter swim in a big meet.
you might be thinking - what's the big deal you traveled from a southern point of your state only to the middle of that state and back again.
 first let me point out the state of california is very long, freakishly long - it really ought to be 3 states stacked one atop another.  i bet it is farther from our tip to middle than the entire vertical or even diagonal measurement of your state/country/ranch/chinese wall.   i know, i know you are saying "but it's california, it's beautiful, don't you appreciate it's natural beauty? "
well, of course i do, but, to be clear let me just say.....
unless you are really hankering to see/visit the raisin capitol of the world or maybe just miles of pure flat, dusty dried land dotted with the occasional strawberry/melon/tomato/walnut/citrus/artichoke stand, and restrooms that are called outhouses anywhere else in the world, unless you want to see that, then let me suggest the scenic coastal route for you.  dear gawd.
i marvel at how flat the interior of our state is - especially compared to the coast which is where we live.
 i marveled and marveled and marveled, woke up from a 5 hour nap and was still marveling - man, there just isn't much to see inland.  i now know why the missions of california are all located along the coast... it's because the early missionaries who tried to settle and build missions in the state's interior died an early and anguishing death of boredom.  boredom.

so what we did to make the drive a little more bearable was   1.) took turns driving 2.) took turns sleeping  (but not while driving if we could help it) 3.) sang - all three of us - to 1960's, then 1970's songs then disco songs at the top of our lungs.  (yeah, we are those people), 4.) played slap one another if you are first to spot a prius.  rules:  you get 2 slaps back if you are mistaken.  3 slaps if you are mistaken and its really a tractor.
after that we 5.)  read to each other from our cellphones/text messaging/navigation system/car repair manual/maps of different states/ingredients of snacks bought at the last outhouse, and miscellaneous papers found at the bottom of my purse.   maybe even chew some old gum.   finders keepers anyway.

but we did it and conquered it and are so proud of one another.  oh and rosie swam her events - one event a day - for 5 days.  she did well, thanks for asking.  but man-o -man was it hot - torturously hot.  i ended up with that "reverse raccoon" phenomenon.  reverse raccoon is a condition found in humans who wear sunglasses for days in the blistering heat but then at night in sync other nocturnals -- find their way by using their natural white eyepatches where eyeballs used to be.  they work kinda like headlights.  could potentially be dangerous if real headlights are encountered.

anyway, after 5 days of bleacher sitting, my husband and i now suffer from weird grill lines on our butts. "bleacher butt" is what its called.
finally at the end, rosie got a tshirt that said she was a sectional swimmer with her name highlighted among other swimmers names.  she wears it with honor.  she was pretty satisfied with her swim times.  sorta.

i got a tshirt too.  mine simply says "iwatch" with my own scribble at the bottom  "and ipay".

the best news is (note sarcasm here)- we do it all again in august - yes this august.  in a few weeks, august.  can't wait.
at least now we know our routine.  and i am sure i know a pruis from a tractor.  damn it.  thanks for the gratuitous slaps.

too bad amy......

 you were so talented.  you must of had big demons.  so sad.

looking back on older work.....

if i get an artist block i always fill up the extra or troubling space with fish.  these 3 fat japanese women sitting in a sauna just needed a few fish to complete the picture.  oh and they needed to be fish themselves.

it's so wonderful to get feedback.....

sue mc wrote:

I received the green angel DVD today.  I attached a pic of what I had just 
accomplished before the mail came.  Plus I had just gone thu my magazines to 
pull all your published articles.  Spooky!!   I had a fabulous day and feel like 
the artist I want to be.  Heavenly day off.  Sue 

nice work sue mc.  looks like fun too.

I can see that you worked, er, played all day.  


it's so nice to hear - "feel like the artist i want to be..."  ... this is music to my ears.  beautifully put, sue.  


 thank you, sue.

"gracie" who is not graceful

I have been looking back on some of my older work.  I forget sometimes what i have created and sold.  This was a fun painting I did of my daughter Brooke's dog named Gracie who is actually a he and is NOT graceful.  Hence the name.   This is from a few years ago.

yep he is a happy pitbull.  still is.  brooke found him hungry, wandering the los angeles freeway when she worked for KNX.  she tried for 2 weeks to find his owners - but it was clear he was abandoned.

when i say she rescued him from the LA freeway - it was one of those days when the traffic was parked on the 405.  gracie was not dodging traffic as in a steve martin movie.

when gracie begged at her window she couldn't resist him.  he happily climbed into her little car and has been very happy since. and is well fed.  in fact he is on a diet.

mysterious love.....

kind of a secret........shhhh

simple collage - what i consider

at this time of the summer when everything gets maddeningly fast paced, i find peace making small collages.   what i do is make it into a game.  like a puzzle.  i look for elements that go together based on their shape and color instead of their literal meaning.  this leads to some interesting combinations.  to me it's more fun than playing sudoku.  although i like an occasional sudoku game.....(it's just......well,  i suck at it).

my lefties......

i have a big hankering to draw silly things with my left hand.  so i think i will spend time in the studio doing that.  i feel very free knowing my left hand is doing all the work - makes me concentrate differently too.

delicious italian pastries...(remembering gubbio)

in the small village town of gubbio, umbria, italy there are only a few pastry shops.  very little in square footage, but huge in variety of sweets.  this young girl is showing some of our very own selection  of what we intended to eat at lunch that day...  we promised to put her photo on my blog.  i think she didn't really care if i did or not, but it was an exciting conversation, she liked the idea of having her pic in on the wed from an southern california fan.  still. not as exciting, admittedly, as getting these pastries cream filled little bliss bites of heaven home for lunch...the top photo shows just one of the display counters.  the shop is small only one or two families could squeeze in at a time to make the important decisions. in our family  (9 people at the time) we each had our own input as to what to get.  the pastry tray she is holding was only the very beginning of our choices.  decisions like these require a family committee.  italian families don't often agree on most issues - but pastries are another story.

on them we can agree because we each know there really is no such thing as a bad pastry.

a tiny different spin on the green angel piece......

i wanted to create a contrast showing innocence and grunge.  the pastey way i painted the background and nonsense alphabet is my way of showing that something spiritual is in the air.  underlying are a couple of old dictionary pages, then stained with raw umber.  this page is ready to use as a journal or diary page or left as is.

an experiment with permanent markers.......

 wow! she came out bright!  i did an experiment which was totally fun.  i used AD brand permanent markers as the underlying colors.  those markers are very juicy which makes coloring large areas easy and fast.  and bright.  hmmmm.  i will try this exercise again later today and see what the result will be.

foolin' around with this image today.....

feeling a bit "old school vintage by dior" today...

not your regular artist retreat.....

 a few photos of pam's teaching day at the art for healing retreat.

it felt like there were more people there besides us.